To me, running at any age after childhood has always felt laughably
silly, and undignified. If you think of this the next time you watch an adult
running, then further explanation is not necessary. I could elaborate endlessly on the hilariousness of adults running, but that's beside the point of the
I-Saw-The-Light theme of this post.
My hate-hate relationship with running goes back as long as
I can remember. I partially attribute my anti-running attitude to my childhood
experiences. I remember having to do excessive amounts of running in school,
and the one year that I played kid-football. Following years of suffering these
torturous indignities, I gleefully shed my past-life and walked into the
world of adulthood. I had no aspirations to become an athlete, and I was physically
satisfied with hiking and doing lots of pushups. Recently, it dawned on me that
perhaps in our modern world, we are evolving past running? Surrounded by ever-increasingly
larger number of hazardous elements, doesn't running increase the risk of inadvertently
jumping right into one of them? As a result of extensive and intense internal
debate, I determined that there are a few, rare scenarios that require developed
running-skills.
To illuminate these scenarios, see the image above ("Rambo"). The two
scenarios in life that justify running are: to deliver justice (attack), or to escape
an explosion (self-preservation); both of which are automatic, involuntary
responses to external evil forces. Running across the street to avoid being
struck by traffic falls into the latter category; self-preservation.
Premeditated running remains entirely unjustified with regards to the preservation of
dignity— without exception. This is basically the code of self-respect that I
have strictly adhered to for [almost] my entire adult life.
So.... after years of lovingly embracing my pride, I decided
to flush it all down the toilet and give running another chance— because it's
healthy. So, I purchased a pair of cheap running shoes yesterday, and went for
a jog this morning. To my surprise, I effortlessly ran one mile, uphill, in the
unforgiving rainy Seattle cold. It felt surprisingly refreshing, and I've felt
amazing all day long. So much in fact that I plan to do it again tomorrow. If
you see me doing my run-jog, know that in that moment I have no self-respect,
but that's healthy (?). Yea!
